We Need More Leisure Time
201002551 E.I.T.
Yun Jeong Lee
The cutting-edge technologies have given birth to so many timesaving devices. Thanks to these devices and machines, modern people are able to save time they would otherwise be wasting doing time-consuming tasks. However, despite the invention of such utilities, modern people today are working harder and longer than ever before. Longer working hours have many negative effects on our lives, so we should work less and enjoy more leisure time.
First of all, people these days are more stressed out than in the past because they work more hours. Work is always associated with stress; people get stressed both physically and psychologically from doing work. Such stress can build up to cause certain illnesses, such as cancer. Unhealthy lives make people unhappy, which gives them more stress, which leads to even unhealthier and unhappier lives. This vicious cycle of 'stress-illnesses-unhappiness' reduces people's will to live. Thus, we need to reduce working hours and have more leisure time.
Secondly, leisure time can lead to happiness. All human beings long for happiness; it is a universal desire of all humans. Happiness is one of the most basic prerequisite that makes people feel they are 'alive'. So when such desire is satisfied, people feel more hopeful. One of the best ways to feel happy is to enjoy what one likes to do during leisure time. In other words, more leisure time means greater happiness, and people who feel greater happiness find their lives more meaningful and hopeful.
Some people claim that work provide just enough challenges and pressure to keep our lives exciting and full of life. They also claim that without work, our lives would be too boring. Though it is true that we need some challenges and pressure in life to keep our selves going, it does not necessarily mean that the more we work, the more exciting our lives will become. Too much work and too little leisure time can make our lives excessively challenging for us to bear. Such unbearable amount of challenges and pressure can make us stressed and unhappy, which is why some people often lose the will to live.
Timesaving devices have facilitated some work processes, but modern people are doing more work than before, and they are left with little leisure time. Although it is true that work can be a motivator in life, too much work with little leisure time can have devastating effects on our lives. Being overloaded with work can make people stressed out and unhappy. Therefore, it seems necessary for people to work less and enjoy more leisure time.
Peer Feedback Sheet
ReplyDeleteTo: Yun Jeong Lee From: JiSoo Jung Assignment 6
1. What I like about this piece of writing is well-organized structure, proper words and good reasons.
2. Your main point seems that people need more leisure time and work less
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
1) cutting-edge technologies : it seems really professional and I thought that it describes the situation properly.
2) time-consuming / time-saving : It well contrasts the situation.
3) vicious : I could feel that this writing is full of proper words.
I thought that there are really a lot of useful and good words, though I couldn’t pick them all, I was quite impressed after reading this paper.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
I couldn’t find anything strange and awkward, because I was quite satisfied at this paper.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is
I think that it doesn’t need to change the contents or add or delete something. It’s quite good paper for me.