Is downloading and sharing music off the Internet is wrong?
In the 21st century, where no area of society is immune from the pervasive influence of the Internet, people find it extremely easy to download and share music off the Internet. There are some famous websites that give users such a convenient access. Some of them argue that it is illegal, but I believe that the aspect of downloading and sharing music for free gives more benefits to the music industry.
Some say downloading is breaking the law. When individuals download music, they don't consider artists' copyright which is a set of rights designated to the creators. So they say it's like taking money out of the artists' pockets. However, free access to music on the Internet actually gives a chance to singers who are not popular enough to be heard of otherwise. By creating a nice piece of music and distributing it through the Internet free, they easily seize the opportunity to be well-known, and it was also a case for a Korean pop star, PSY, who became famous worldwide after releasing his music free on the Internet. Once they become famous, selling CDs in the music shop would not be the only source of their income.
Another reason that downloading and sharing music off the Internet is not wrong is that buyers can preview an album first through the Internet, and then buy it in the shop. With the economy being not fully recovered yet, people will not open up their wallets unless they feel sure what they are buying is valuable enough. In that sense, the Internet is actually a good thing for the music industry since it acts as a powerful marketing device that attracts downloaders to legally purchase albums.
Finally, the free download websites help those unprivileged in our society to enjoy the sweetness of art. The gap between the haves and not haves is still great, and it is quite unfair for the society to take away opportunities for them to enjoy free music. By allowing them to download for free, the music industry is actually training potential future buyers to buy real albums once they stay afloat later.
In conclusion, downloading and sharing music off the Internet is not that bad since it gives opportunities to new singers or bands to be popular, enables buyers to preview albums, and helps those not able to go to the music shop because of poverty. It is important for the music industry to come up with new profit-making fields as downloading has become part of our culture.
To Sae-whan Park From Young-jun Yoo
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is the idea that downloading music for free actually brings certain benefits to the music industry. I haven’t thought about it that way. And sentences are well structured.
2. Your main point seems that downloading and sharing music off the Internet is a good thing, because it gives chances to unpopular artists to be well-known, allows people to preview songs before they buy the albums, and helps those who can’t afford to buy them enjoy the music.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
1)Words or lines:
where no area of society is immune from the pervasive influence of the Internet
I like them because:
This clause is expressing well the fact that the Internet connection is ubiquitous.
2)Words or lines:
it's like taking money out of the artists' pockets
I like them because:
This sentence made me realize downloading music illegally is more serious crime than I thought.
4. Some things aren't clear to me.
1) In the introduction, " Some of them argue that it is illegal "
It is not so clear to me what “them” refers to. Is it “some famous websites”?
2) In the third body paragraph, "… the music industry is actually training potential future buyers..."
I’m not sure if “training” is appropriate here, but I think there might be a better word for it.^^
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is that :
I think you are a very good writer. But it would be if the length of each paragraph was more balanced.
Thank you.
To sae-whan Park From Se-Kyu Oh Assignment 6
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that you saw this issue of free downloading with a totally different point of view, advocating for those who download and share
2. Your main point seems to be that downloading and sharing without paying can contribute to growth of music industry and success of artists who are not famous
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
enjoy the sweetness of art.: “sweetness” is the word I’ve never tried to use before
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
…..and helps those not able to go to the music shop because of poverty -> I think you missed to write ‘who are’ between ‘those’ and ‘not able to go…’
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is that your point is quite interesting and it sounds reasonable in some way, but still has places to be criticized though. I think you may want to prepare more evidences or reasons for your point of view such as detail status and numbers or else.
2nd Draft
ReplyDeleteIn the 21st century, where no area of society is immune from the pervasive influence of the Internet, people find it extremely easy to download and share music off the Internet. There are some famous websites that give users such a convenient access. Some of people argue that it is illegal, but I believe that the aspect of downloading and sharing music for free gives more benefits to the music industry.
Some say downloading is breaking the law. When individuals download music, they don't consider artists' copyright which is a set of rights designated to the creators. So they say it's like taking money out of the artists' pockets. However, free access to music on the Internet actually gives a chance to singers who are not popular enough to be heard of otherwise. By creating a nice piece of music and distributing it through the Internet free, they easily seize the opportunity to be well-known, and it was also a case for a Korean pop star, PSY, who became famous worldwide after releasing his music free on the Internet. Once they become famous, selling CDs in the music shop would not be the only source of their income.
Another reason that downloading and sharing music off the Internet is not wrong is that buyers can preview an album first through the Internet, and then buy it in the shop. With the economy being not fully recovered yet, people will not open up their wallets unless they feel sure what they are buying is valuable enough. In that sense, the Internet is actually a good thing for the music industry since it acts as a powerful marketing device that attracts downloaders to legally purchase albums.
Finally, the free download websites help those unprivileged in our society to enjoy the sweetness of art. The gap between the haves and not haves is still great, and it is quite unfair for the society to take away opportunities for them to enjoy free music. By allowing them to download for free, the music industry is actually encouraging them to buy real albums once they stay afloat later.
In conclusion, downloading and sharing music off the Internet is not that bad since it gives opportunities to new singers or bands to be popular, enables buyers to preview albums, and helps those not able to go to the music shop because of poverty. It is important for the music industry to come up with new profit-making fields as downloading has become part of our culture.