Downloading a music on internet is really bad thing?
Does anyone who doesn't have experience to download music files from internet? I bet there is nobody who doesn't feel guilty about this thing. Because of the internet, many people can find all kinds of music on the internet in the form of mp3. Therefore, they can download music for free. However, many workers in the music industry have affected by this situation. The sale of albums in a material form has been decreased. But, there are some advantages that are caused by the opportunities to get music from the internet.
First of all, it has some marketing effects. Because a person who never buys or listens one singer's song has an opportunity to access the song, he will be a fan of the singer and will buy next album or some products related to a singer. Some people might say that someone who got a song from the internet already did a bad thing to a singer. It might be true but, if the songs weren't free at the first time, the person wouldn't have a chance to hear songs, and that would be a worse thing.
In addition, this chance to listen songs freely is also so a good thing for poor people who can't afford to buy albums. It is a really rewarding for singer to help poor people and to share his works to other people. From the social welfare, this is a really a benevolent thing to console or relieve their stresses by music.
Furthermore, the amateur musicians can upload their works and get some attention without any hardship. Internet is an entirely free medium, which means you can use all the way to spread your work through it. For example, there is a famous singer who got attention from the internet by posting his video on Youtube. That singer is Justine Bieber. He is only a twenty years old, but already one of the most profitable singers around the world. He became famous for the clip on the website and his current manage Scooter Braun saw the clip. After that the manager contacted the Bieber and made him famous.
To sum up, some people, especially workers in the music industry, might argue that the sharing of songs is illegal and should be punished. However, they may not see the some advantages that they utilize. There are advantages such as marketing effects, charity issue, and chances to find a gifted amateur artist. Although the advent of internet gave some hard time to the music fields, if they use some advantages properly, the workers can change this hardship into a chance.
To Jung, Young Tae From Hannah Bae
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is you suggest really interesting point of view and supporting details.
2. Your main point seems to be illegal downloading has some advantages for market, charity issue, and amateur artists.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
"Although the advent of internet gave some hard time to the music fields, if they use some advantages properly, the workers can change this hardship into a chance."
I really like your conclusion. You clearly stated what you want to point out.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
"However, many workers in the music industry have affected by this situation. The sale of albums in a material form has been decreased. But, there are some advantages that are caused by the opportunities to get music from the internet."
I get your point but the repetition of 'However' and 'but', it was confusing a little. Also, when i read the sentence i wondered whom for the advantages. Are they for music industries which you were talking or for downloaders? You need to clarify the meaning in simpler sentence.
"It might be true but, if the songs weren't free at the first time, the person wouldn't have a chance to hear songs, and that would be a worse thing. "
It's not an emotional thing. It could be a worse thing for the downloaders but not for the music industries. You should clarify rather the impact on industries in this sentence. Here i suggest one. 'and that would be a loss of customers for industries'. Well, mine is not good but i think you can just refer to it.
"without any hardship"
I think it would offend some people. You can just tone down like 'with less hardship'.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is the third paragraph.
Among those five paragraphs, it's the shortest, you know. It means unlike the second and fourth paragraph, there is a lack of supporting details. It's even shorter than conclusion. I think you had thoughts in your mind but couldn't find appropriate details to support it. Maybe you can just search the rate of the poor downloaders in the news. What about mentioning the donation culture of the singers? It would empower your argument.
Downloading music on internet is really bad thing?
ReplyDeleteIs there anyone who doesn’t have experience to download music files from internet? I bet that everybody feels guilty about this thing. Thanks to the internet, many people can find all kinds of music. Many workers in the music field contend that they are the victim of this situation. However, there are some advantages that are caused by the opportunities to get music from the internet.
First of all, it has some marketing effects. Because a person who never buys or listens one singer’s song has an opportunity to access the song, he will be a fan of the singer and will buy next album or some products related to a singer. Some people might say that someone who got a song from the internet already did a bad thing to a singer. It might be true but, if the songs weren’t free at the first time, the listeners wouldn’t have a chance to hear songs, and that would be a loss to a singer.
In addition, this chance to listen songs freely is also so a good thing for poor people who can’t afford to buy albums. It is a really rewarding for singer to help poor people and to share his works to other people. From the social welfare, this is a really a benevolent thing to console or relieve their stresses by music. Many popular singers like to donate money for the poor people such as Kim Jang Hun and so on. I recommend that they change their perception about this sharing into good thing.
Furthermore, the amateur musicians can upload their works and get some attention more easily. Internet is an entirely free medium, which means you can use all the way to spread your work through it. For example, there is a famous singer who got attention from the internet by posting his video on Youtube. That singer is Justine Bieber. He is only a twenty years old, but already one of the most profitable singers around the world. He became famous for the clip on the website and his current manage Scooter Braun saw the clip. After that the manager contacted the Bieber and made him famous.
To sum up, some people, especially workers in the music industry, might argue that the sharing of songs is illegal and should be punished. However, they may not see the some advantages that they utilize. There are advantages such as marketing effects, charity issue, and chances to find a gifted amateur artist. Although the advent of internet gave some hard time to the music fields, if they use some advantages properly, the workers can change this hardship into a chance.