Few days ago, I read a book called Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. She was a hard working writer and reporter and she was earning a lot of money. However, when she had to face big adversity, she left her job with no hesitant and went abroad to take a rest and find out ways to live a better life. In modern society, lots of people are working hard without taking enough rest due to high competition and materialism. For them, what is important is more income and better reputation rather than leisure and relaxation. However, just like Elizabeth Gilbert, people should have their leisure time in order to improve their quality of life.
First, you can enjoy your life more by having leisure time. The ultimate reason for living is to be happy. Therefor it is important to do what you want to do, instead of what you have to do. If you give up what your heart asks you to do saying thousands of excuses, you will probably regret at the last moment of your life. Try to find happiness by having good relax, trying for different hobbies, and experiencing so many things you find interesting.
Second, you can improve and develop good relationship between your family and friends. When you are busy working hard, there are less time to spend with your family and friends. However if you have more leisure time, you can use that time to talk to your family and do some special activities together, such as cooking, working in the garden or playing games. You can also contact your friends and have parties, go shopping, or do hundreds of other exciting things together. Therefore you will be able to build strong and faith relationship with your family and friends, and from happy moments to painful moments, it will be a lot of pleasure and comfort to have them beside you.
Some people are so passionate about their career that they do not want to take a rest until they achieve their goal. They believe that having rest is being lazy and it will hinder their success. However, taking rest is not just waste of time. Scientist figured out that having enough leisure time can lead to better concentration, which will enable you to work more efficiently. Therefore, if you have a rest while working you are more likely to gain better outcome than when you are working without rest.
Leisure time can improve the quality of our lives by enabling us to enjoy our life, build better relationship, and gain better success. Life is not just about wealth, reputation or popularity. What makes your life really happy and worthy is small everyday things like smell of nice food, smile of your baby, or the feeling you have when you are singing your favorite song. Therefore remember to stop yourself from being too busy and restless!
To Soyun Jeong, From Saewhan Park
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that it is clearly organized based on your three arguments. It is also easy to follow with many transition verbs.
2. Your main point seems to be the importance of leisure time, which can make you enjoy your life, build better relationship, and gain better success.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
"I read a book called Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert."
It's very interesting how you start your introduction with a book. It's very convincing, and I also want to try it.
4. "better success"
I think you need to be more specific what better success means.
5. It would be better if you give more of your personal experiences related to leisure time. That will make your arguments more convincing.