Do You Know What You're Doing?
How much do you spend downloading digital content on the Internet a month? As the online industry is getting bigger, it is easy for people to download copyrighted property, such as films, music, etc., off the Internet. It is a good thing. However, the problem is that many people often do it illegally. Not only that, some even distribute or sell what they download for their interests. It does not seem too serious to us, yet it causes some disadvantages to us in certain ways.
Of course it is tempting for everyone to download free music or movies. Sometimes, some people think some stuff is not worth paying. I do so from time to time. However, you should consider that music, movies, or whatever it is you download free, is somebody's property so it is no better than actually stealing something from the owners. Plus, companies or individuals who own the copyrights have the right to sue those who illegally download their property. If you get caught, you will be in serious legal trouble.
Another common problem of downloading and sharing illegally is the computer virus. It is much more serious than you probably think. People who download music or movies illegally use P2P(Person-to-Person) program or illegal websites, so they are favorite targets for hackers. The files they download can contain hidden computer viruses and Trojan horses, which can wreak havoc on your computer, making your computer vulnerable to hacking. It can result in personal information leaks.
Finally, it harms the development of the related industries, including music and film industries. For
example, music record companies or film production companies make most of their money from record and film sales. So, if they do not get paid properly, they will be hard hit and not have enough money to invest in their future work. It means there will a decrease in the number of related companies, resulting less competition and less investment. Consequently, the quality of music and films will be lowered.
In conclusion, downloading illegally on the Internet has more disadvantages for us than advantages. It makes you a criminal, causes personal information leaks, and lowers the quality of music and films. Most of you probably think that you are just one of millions of people who do it, so that you do not affect anything. However, you are harming the industries and other people. It is reasonable not to do such things.
To Young-jun Yoo From Im chaemin
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is the title of your writing. What I am saying may not be related to this kind of comments but, the title caught my eyes when I first looked at it. It is very interesting to me.
2. Your main point seems that people are downloading the other's property on the internet illegally and so you think that it causes a few problems.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
Words or lines:
it is no better than actually stealing something from the owners.
I like them because:
You used the quite interesting expression. It could be expressed in another way but by using that structure, it doesn't look boring.
4. Some things aren't clear to me.
1) In the first introduction, "It is a good thing."
I don't get it exactly. I could mean that music, film, and etc or downloading copyrighted property. I think it should be clear.
2) In the first body paragraph,
"I do so from time to time." It is breaking your main ideas. Your main idea in that paragraph is that people should not download the content illegally but that sentence seems to be against your main idea.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is that : It would be better for you to mark each body paragraph for example, giving numbering them. It looks a little vague.
Thank you.
1.What i like about this piece of writing is that readers can easily relate to this topic which can grab their attention.
ReplyDelete2. Your main point seems to be that downloading illegally online is a crime, it can expose personal information, and unfair to producers.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful: On the second paragraph, last sentence where it says companies can sue you. We all know that when we do bad stuff, consequences always follow but we tend to forget them and download whenever without caution.
4. Some things aren't clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved(meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
It's still hard for me to find your thesis sentence. You have a great grabbing paragraph but it was unclear to me to find your thesis and your three sub points.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest imrpovement in this piece of writing is:
I think if can conclude your essay with a stronger statement, it will pursuade or impact the readers to actually consider of not downloading illegally.
Well written :)