| To protect intellectual property
One of technologies that help human society grow rapidly is the Internet. The Internet, which is often called the sea of information, offers almost everything people need anywhere and anytime. However, the stronger its power is around the world, the more its problems occur. A typical example of the problems is infringing intellectual property rights. As intellectual property is an intangible asset such as a copyright or patent, people tend to thoughtlessly share or copy other's intellectual things. This is apparently illegal behavior and in my opinion, people refrain from using intellectual materials without the owner's permission. Then what do we need to do for preventing the infringement of it?
First, education of protecting intellectual property is needed. As mentioned above, some people use other's intangible property carelessly as if it belonged to them. This means that its problem of infringement could not be solved without changes in perception of intellectual property. Through promoting the importance of its right, individual awareness of it should be raised.
Just like an individual, government also needs to have a new perception about intellectual property. In our society, creative materials tend to be treated as a private thing, not a public one. But it can be used and beneficial for everyone if government offers the appropriate infrastructure or strategy of it.
Lastly, it is imperative that law is reinforced. Even though the damage related to the creative things is increasing, the proper measures are not taken to correct problems. Also, it is said that the intellectual property law in Korea is too generous to protect people's creative idea timely. With much stronger and tighter regulation, the government ought to guard the property.
Since 21st century, the term 'intellectual property right' has been familiar around the world, but people do not seem to understand its meaning well. That is a kind of one's own wealth which should be protected like all other tangible things. Through the proper perception and regulation, people should try to respect other's creative materials.
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Saturday, May 4, 2013
Myong Hwa Yang / Assignment 6 / Tue 3,4
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To Myong Hwa Yang From Minyoung Kang
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is the organization. You have well explained three main arguments, and they are not overlapping. It is very clear to read.
2. Your main point seems to be that intellectual property should be protected by educating about intellectual property, having the government achieve a new perception, and imposing the law more strongly.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
1) ‘creative materials’ I think it is a good way to describe intellectual property.
2) ‘Intangible asset’ I like how you clarified the meaning of intellectual property.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
1) I think the second paragraph is a little vague. Exactly what should be changed of the government to protect the rights more effectively? Because there are already laws that protect those rights that are made by the government.
2) The first paragraph too, would be better if you added some measures to educate people like commercials or lectures and so on.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is briefly introducing your main arguments in the introduction. I think it would be better if you introduce your arguments in the introduction before giving more explanation. Also, the introduction is very detailed, but it seems that your arguments are not as detailed as the introduction when it would be better the other way around.
To Myong Hwa Yang From Saewhan Park
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that your essay has three clear and strong main arguments and well structured.
2. Your main point seems to understand the meaning of copyright and protect it like all other tangible properties.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
"Sae of information"
I thought it was a really powerful phrase since you attempt to define what the Internet is wihout stretching out words but in a cleverly figurative way. And the expression is also well known so it was easy to understand.
4. Some things aren't clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved:
"That is a kind of one's own wealth which should be protected like all other tangible things."
In this sentence, it could have been motter to understand if you had explained more clearly what "tangible things" are. It seems to me that even if something is tangible, that does not mean it has to be protected.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is to put a little bit of space before the first sentence of a paragraph. In this way, it will look more structured.
2nd draft
ReplyDeleteTo protect intellectual property
One of technologies that help human society grow rapidly is the Internet which is often called the sea of information. However, the stronger its power is around the world, the more its problems occur. A typical example of the problems is infringing intellectual property rights. As intellectual property is an intangible asset such as a copyright or patent, people tend to thoughtlessly share other's intellectual things. This is apparently illegal behavior ,so in my opinion, people refrain from using intellectual materials without the owner's permission. Then what do we need to do for preventing the infringement of it?
First, education of protecting intellectual property is needed. As mentioned above, some people use other's intangible property carelessly as if it belonged to them. This means that its problem of infringement could not be solved without changes in perception of intellectual property. Through promoting the importance of its right by using lectures or campaigns, individual awareness of it should be raised.
Just like an individual, government also needs to have a new perception about intellectual property. In our society, creative materials tend to be treated as a private thing, not a public one. But it can be used and beneficial for everyone if government offers the appropriate infrastructure or strategy of it. It can be one of the strategies by government to hold the competitions which pick the most creative and useful intellectual property for the public.
Lastly, it is imperative that law is reinforced. Even though the damage related to the creative things is increasing, the proper measures are not taken to correct problems. Also, it is said that the intellectual property law in Korea is too generous to protect people's creative idea timely. With much stronger and tighter regulations, the government ought to guard the property.
Since 21st century, the term 'intellectual property right' has been familiar around the world, but people do not seem to understand its meaning well. That is a kind of one's own wealth which should be protected like all other tangible things. Through the proper perception and regulation, people should try to respect other's creative materials.