What kind of poses did you take when you were taken photos? Look at those two photographs. Both of two pictures show children who are at different states. They directly and indirectly express their emotions in the photos. The first one is called "Village School" and the second one is called "Children's Puppet Theatre".
In the first photograph, "Village School", children are in the dark room. The place seems to be classroom in the past. Some children are staring at a camera. And some are looking at the front of classroom. The overall atmosphere in the photo is dark and stiff. All children are not doing dynamic action. They are just sitting on chairs politely. The most outstanding feature of the first photo is an arrangement of children. They are positioned like triangle and they are forming V-line which becomes wider as going backwards.
In the second photograph, "Children's Puppet Theatre", children are in the field. They are watching something and surprised to see that. Most of children open their mouth loudly to express their surprise. But, there is a child who closes his ears. The atmosphere is much brighter than the first photo. In addition to this, their facial expression is not stiff but very dynamic. The photographer focused on children who are at the front of the photo. The children behind them look vague. The arrangement of the row is horizontal and they seem to be familiar with each other because they are gathered very closely.
The first photo and second one are photos which cover children. However, what is emphasized on two photos is really different. In "Village School", the aura in the classroom is so dark and calm. Rather than focusing on every child, the photographer seems to highlight the atmosphere which is made from the arrangement of the children and dark color. Also the first photo is motionless. Most children are stiff and sitting on chairs with their eyes fixed to camera and the front. In contrast, the second photograph, "Children's Puppet Theatre" highlights the facial expression of every child. Their facial expression is so diverse unlike "Village School" and they look relaxed although they are surprised to watch something. A boy is raising his finger and pointing something, where we can feel movement and dynamic.
In conclusion, "Village School" shows calm and dark mood of the classroom. "Children's Puppet Theatre" shows diverse facial expression of children. Comparing those two photos with color, the first one is black and gray and the other is yellow. Moreover, the two photographs show movement versus stillness. Both of photos contain their own unique colors.
To Kanhayoung From Se-Kyu Oh Assignment : Reaction writing
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that you described original pictures well.
2. Your main point seems to be the two pictures, though they both depict children, have different mood of feelings.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
What kind of poses did you take when you were taken photos? -> Interesting hook. It makes a question to readers.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
Some children are staring at a camera. And some are looking at the front of classroom -> In academic essays, usually sentences don’t start with conjunctions such as ‘and’ ‘but’ or ‘or’. Those are used to connect two different sentences into one sentence. How about “Some children are staring at the camera and/while the others are looking at the front of the classroom.” ?
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is
Because you dealt with the same photos already covered by the text book, in some sentences, it seems that your words and phrases are similar to those in the text books. How about examining the photos with different point of view or dealing with different photos?
To Kanhayoung From Yang MyongHwa
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that your writing makes me imagine the scene in my head.
2. Your main point seems to be 'Both of photos contain their own unique colors.'
3. 'forming V-line which becomes wider as going backwards.' struck me as powerful. Instead of the word 'triangle', V-line used is so fresh.
4. 'Look at those two photographs.' isn't clear to me. Even though most of the students in our class know where these photographs, it would be better to mention the book.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is to add some sentences to the first or last paragraph. Compared with other paragraphs, they are a little bit short.