2013. 5. 18 SUN
Intermediate Writing – Skills
201103227 E. I. T
Jung Ji Soo
Nowadays most of university students may be concerned about their vague dreams and futures. Since human-beings are thoughtful animals and especially college students, this kind of worrying is natural. Here, I'll tell you some skills that will be really helpful to your dreams and make futures more positively.
First on top is building your own professional skills. However you are good at doing other things, one's own ability is the most important. Of course, most of you know this fact, but don't know how to do this. I just recommend not only doing what are in front of you, but also others such as reading books and taking other classes and so on. Learning backgrounds related to your own profession will be really helpful and useful to your future.
Second one is building good relationship with others. Of course one's own ability is important, but also how to deal with people is also important. We are social animals, and we live in the society among people. Then, we have to know how to live more friendly and become more familiarized with others. Sometimes, when we get in the trouble, others can help us and when they need our help, we can do that for them. Having good and friendly relationship with others is more important than knowing one more boring knowledge.
The last one I mention is communication skills. Communication takes really necessary part in our lives. By this, we can solve problems without doing other tough things. And with this skill, others can believe you more and trust you more than before. It means if you want to be more successful, having good communication skills and by this, dealing with problems is needed.
In conclusion, skills that are needed to people are these; to build professional skills, to have close relationship with others and to have good communication skills. Not only these skills are helpful to your future, they are also useful in your daily lives. I hope that all of you achieve your goal and be what you hope.
What I like about this piece of writing is to talk about several skills that can be used for the future job.
ReplyDeleteYour main point seems to be that professional skills, good relationship, and communcation skill are helpful when someone looks for a job.
These particular words or lines struck me as powerful : building good relationship with others. I also agree to it because people can't live alone and they need to help with the others.
The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in thispiece of writing is to add some examples. If you show the example related to the topic of paragraph, it will be clear and easy to understand.
To: Jung Ji Soo From: Hyein Jin 200903450
ReplyDeleteAssignment : Classification Essay
1. What I like about this piece of writing is your style of writing. Your writing is easy to read, and there's nothing confusing or difficult to understand.
2. Your main point seems that building own professional skill, maintaining good relationship with others and communication skill are the most essential to buil up the future dream.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
I hope that all of you achieve your goal and be what you hope.
I like the tone and style of your concluding phrase. It is friendly, and well-matched with whole style of your writing!
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
"Communication takes really necessary part in our lives."
in the fourth paragraph.
It should be explained more to be logical and fully justified.
Why you choose this value as one of the most important things for finding dream? Why this is that necessary?
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is grammatical errors. This writing is easy to read, but it contains several minor errors that might harm the quality of this piece.
ex) 1.one more boring knowledge (x)
Knowledge is always uncountable....'one more'sounds bizzare.
2. Not only these skills are helpful to your future, they are also useful in your daily lives (x)
you need 'but' in the middle of this phrase to make sense.
3. but also how to deal with people is also important. (x)
Double 'also' is not desirable here lol
, and so on
Thanks!
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
ReplyDeleteIntermediate Writing – Classification Writing
201103227 E. I. T
Jung Ji Soo
Nowadays most of university students may be concerned about their vague dreams and futures. Since human-beings are thoughtful animals and especially college students, this kind of worrying is natural. Here, I'll tell you some skills that will be really helpful to your dreams and make futures more positively.
First on the top is building your own professional skills. However you are good at doing other things, one's own ability is the most important. Of course, most of you know this fact, but don't know how to do this. I just recommend not only doing what are in front of you, but also others such as reading books and taking other classes and so on. Learning backgrounds related to your own profession will be really helpful and useful to your future. Let’s suppose that you want to be an interpreter. Then most of us may consider that to be an interpreter only language skill is crucial. However, not to mention it, understanding cultural differences and subtle meaning of language are also really important. When you miss such differences, you can make horrible mistakes.
Second one is building good relationship with others. Of course one's own competence is important, but also how to deal with people is also crucial matter. We are social animals, and we live in the society among people. Then, we have to know how to live more friendly and become more familiarized with others. Sometimes, when we get in the trouble, others can help us and when they need our help, we can do that for them. You can imagine the word ‘collaborate’ and ‘cooperate’. Why do we use such kind of words? This is because there are always a lot of times to work together and sometimes they are much more productive than doing something by alone. Also at that time, keeping good relationship is needed to finish the work smoothly.
The last one I want to mention here is communication skills. Communication takes really necessary part in our lives. By this, we can solve problems without doing other tough things. And with this skill, others can believe you more and trust you more than before. Also, through communication with others, you can get a lot more things from others and learn more and understand others more easily. And of course you can persuade others giving your ideas through it. You may have experienced a lot how communication has a powerful ability. When I had a trouble with my boyfriend because of difference position, we had a lot of communication. I told him what made me feel bad and in my point of view, what you did wrong for me. Then he seemed to understand my position and said sorry to me, and told me too what he thought and what he felt about the situation. Then I had also time to understand his position and tried to keep good relationship again. Through communication we could think each other’s situation again and tried to figure out what we misunderstood. Always, I learned a lot from communication and I believe that it has really powerful skill between people’s relationship.
In conclusion, skills that people need to raise are these; to build professional skills, to have close relationship with others and to have good communication skills. Not only these skills are helpful to your future, they are also useful in your daily lives. I hope that all of you achieve your goal and be what you hope.