<White Day>
Did you know that in Korea there is a special day called 'White Day'? This annual event, which is held on the 14th of March, is very similar to Valentine's Day. While men receive chocolates from women on Valentine's Day, women receive candies in return on White Day. Although it is not a national holiday, White Day is considered an important event and there is a typical dating course that is perfect for a date on White Day.
First of all, starting the date on White Day with a walk along scenic places is recommended. For example, Namsan, needless to say, is one of the most sought after attractions in Seoul. This mountain is neither too steep nor dangerous, which makes it a perfect place for people to take a walk around with their loved ones.
After taking a walk around Namsan, it is a good idea to visit Namsan Tower and promise eternal love. Namsan Tower is very famous for grand walls that are made up of innumerable padlocks locked around each other. The padlocks are a symbol of eternal love. For this reason, couples lock padlocks at Namsan Tower and throw away the keys, so that it can never be opened again, which represents eternal love.
Once the padlock is locked at Namsan Tower, the last thing to do is to finally give the girlfriend candies that man have prepared in advance. All kinds of candies are welcomed, from lollipops to peppermints and caramels. A red rose would be the frosting on the cake.
Though White Day is not a national holiday, it is certainly an important day for everyone who is in love. A special date on White Day is more than enough to make special relationships even more intimate. Moreover, it is a great opportunity for couples to enjoy a special date and make unforgettable memories together.
To: Yun Jeong Lee From: Seungmi Park
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that the introduction park was sufficiently descriptive about the special day you were going to explain.
2. Your main point seems to be that although White Day isn't a national holiday, it's a special day to express love to their girlfriends and boyfriends.
3. The phrase that struck me powerful was "or this reason, couples lock padlocks at Namsan Tower and throw away the keys, so that it can never be opened again, which represents eternal love." I think it really expresses well the sentiment of love couples want to preserve.
4. Everything was clear to me. :)
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement is that you diversify the examples. I think Namsan is a great dating spot, but since White Day is not a set holiday, you might confuse the readers who have never heard of it. It would've been better if you describe more than just Namsan.
To: Yun Jeong Lee From: Ji Soo Jung 201103227
ReplyDelete(Feedback on page 47)
1. I thingk that there is no sentence abrout process, however, through the body paragraph, the process is seen.
2. There is a backgroung information about what the White day is and when it occurs. The background information that I find is this: This annual event, which is held on the 14th of March, is very similar to Valentine's Day. While men receive chocolates from women on Valentine's Day, women receive candies in return on White Day.
3. It is well organized well, and we can easily follow the flow
4. There are some sequence expressions: First of all and After. I think that flow is natural even though there aren't many transitional words.
5.I think that the structure is well organized with a lot of detailed contenct about places where to go and how to get there, I cannot say what is wrong. I'm satisfied with her writing.
6. There is a recommendation on where to go and what to do at this special day.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete2nd draft, Yun Jeong Lee(201002551)
ReplyDeleteWhite Day
Did you know that in Korea there is a special day called 'White Day'? This annual event, which is held on the 14th of March, is very similar to Valentine's Day. While men receive chocolates from women on Valentine's Day, women receive candies in return on White Day. Although it is not a national holiday, White Day is considered an important event and there is a typical dating course that is perfect for a date on White Day.
First of all, starting the date on White Day with a walk along scenic places is recommended. For example, Namsan, needless to say, is one of the most sought after attractions in Seoul. Namsan is a beautiful mountain located in Seoul. Although this mountain is situated in the middle of the city, it is very green with nature. Namsan is neither too steep nor dangerous, which makes it a perfect place for people to take a leisurely walk around with their loved ones.
After taking a walk around Namsan, it is a good idea to visit Namsan Tower and promise eternal love. Namsan Tower is located on top of Namsan. It is very famous for grand walls that are made up of innumerable padlocks locked around each other. The padlocks are a symbol of love. For this reason, couples lock padlocks at Namsan Tower and throw away the keys, so that it can never be opened again, which represents eternal love.
Once the padlock is locked at Namsan Tower, the last thing to do is to finally give the girlfriend candies that man have prepared in advance. All kinds of candies are welcomed, from lollipops to peppermints and caramels. A red rose would be the frosting on the cake.
Though White Day is not a national holiday, it is certainly an important day for everyone who is in love. A special date on White Day is more than enough to make special relationships even more intimate. Moreover, it is a great opportunity for couples to make unforgettable memories together. Since it is not a national holiday, a short date to nearby and easily accessible place, Namsan, would be perfect for people in love.
-Yun Jeong Lee