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One of my favorite TV show is 인간의 조건 – Human Condition. In one episode, six people tried to live without electronic devices including TV for a week. While watching that, I wondered if I could live without TV like those people in the show. So I asked myself 'Could I do without it?'. My answer is 'Yes!' though it would be challenging.
I think there are two kinds of reasons people watch TV: one is to get some information and the other is to spend their free time. When it comes to information, we can find more useful information through other channels such as books, newspaper, Internet and so on. Also, people can spend their spare time doing something more active and useful like having a hobby, starting to travel etc.
Even though it takes a while to adjust the life without TV, it will be cool to do it. Once we begin it, more precious time and experience will come close to us. |
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Yang, Myonghwa / TV:Could you do without it? / Tue 11a.m.
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To Yang, Myonghwa From Park Shin-Young
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is (putting some examples familiar with people. I think that one of the best way to express our own opinion is not to use complicated words or phrase but to use easy example. In that point, your writing looks so fabulous to me).
2. Your main point seems to be( living without TV is possible for sure).
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
Words or lines
: My answer is 'Yes!' though it would be challenging.
I like them because
: Most students might use the expression ‘difficult,’ not ‘challenging’. That expression looks great.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
Lines or parts
: The conclusion part
Need improving because
: If the conclusion part was written longer, it would be more great writing. (But, the writing is all good overall.)
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is
Like I point out on No.4, the conclusion part needs to be more specific. If I were you, I would give one or two example of what you can do without TV.
To. Yang Myunghwa From Shim Hae Bin
ReplyDelete1. I like you clearly wrote the two reasons why we watch TV. Because you organize those clearly, it was easy to get what you saying.
2. Your main point is ‘I can live without TV.’
3. ‘ there are two kinds of reasons people watch TV: one is to get some information and the other is to spend their free time ‘ are the lines struck me most.
As I wrote answer 1, I certainly agreed with these reasons. This made me consent with your opinion.
4. ‘Also, people can spend their spare time doing something more active and useful like having a hobby, starting to travel etc.’ supporting points missing. I think when we watch TV when we just want to relax and do nothing active or helpful to our life. So, arguing ‘we can do active or helpful thing instead of watching TV’ doesn’t make sense to me.
5. As I said in answer 4, you can replace ‘more active and useful like having a hobby’ with ‘chat idly with friends or read some books that you want’