Although it is not a national holiday, valentine day is considered to be very important for young generation. The exact date of valentines is February 14th and it is annual celebration of lovers. On the valentine day female give chocolate to male and express her love. It doesn't matter whether you have a lover or not. If you don't have a lover, you can just give chocolate to close friend of yours to show how much you care about them.
To begin with, you need to start with getting some chocolates. Every year when valentine day comes, shops are full of chocolates which are beautifully packed. You can just buy one of them and give it to your lover or friends. However, some people make their own chocolate to show their love. Handmade chocolates are not that tasty or good looking as chocolates that are sold but we can truly feel the love of the maker.
Once you have prepared beautifully packed chocolate, ask your lover on a date. It is better for you to search uncrowded place because if there are too much people, it will be hard to express your love. For instance, park will be nice place to give your chocolate and you love to your lover.
Finally, meet the person that you love. You need to be courageous and be ready to express you love. It will be hard to express your love but you need to do it before other people express their love to you lover. If your lover accepts your love, then start lovely days with your partner from valentine day onwards.
Expressing love to someone is not an easy thing. But with the help of valentine day, females get more courage and express their love. The true purpose of valentine day is to make relationship more intimate. You can start a relationship with someone or make your relationship with someone even closer. It doesn't matter whether it is official national day or not. Valentine day is meaningful day for numerous people.
To: MinSoo Lee From: Se-Kyu Oh
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that you choose a familiar topic for us to read. I’ve never expected to read about the Valentine’s Day in this class.
2. Your main point seems to be that Valentine is a day for ladies who are planning to show her love.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful: “you can just give chocolate to close friend of yours to show how much you care about them.” Yes, right. It’s what I’ve been insisting and practicing for the last years but sometimes friends of mine don’t understand. Valentine is not just for couples but also for friends and families.
4. Some things aren't clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved:
“is better for you to search uncrowded place because if there are too much people, it will be hard to express your love.” What does the crowded place has to do with expressing one’s love? Maybe it’s because of the difference between boys and girls, but still I don’t get it ha :)
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is
I think you may want to try to reduce miss typing and errors in the possessive cases and others. I found that you wrote ‘you’ instead of ‘your’ several times. I know it’s just a small matter but in essays and academic writings, even small mistakes would be bad for your grades, I think.
To Minsoo Lee from Jisu Song 201001709
ReplyDelete1. What I like from your writing is the conclusion. You mentioned purpose, meaning, and advantage of the Valentine’s Day. It’s also encouraging people to show love.
2. Your main point seems to be that you are telling the ladies how to express love to men by giving chocolate on Valentine’s Day.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful :
*words or lines :
Handmade chocolates are not that tasty or good looking as chocolates that are sold but we can truly feel the love of the maker.
I agree on this line because handmade chocolates is a real gift from the heart.
4. Some things aren't clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved
The definition of Valentine’s Day was unclear in the first paragraph. Because in other countries, it’s a day for both men and women. Only in Korea, it’s the day for ladies to show their love to men. So I think you should add that your essay is about ‘Valentine’s Day in Korea.’
5. The one change you could make would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is :
Your body paragraphs are about how to prepare or spend the Valentine’s Day and your introduction should tell the readers about the direction of the essay. So I think it’s better to add a sentence that you are going to talk about what to do on that day.
Although it is not a national holiday, Valentines Day is considered to be very important for young generation. The exact date of valentines is February 14th and it is annual celebration of lovers. On the Valentines Day female give chocolate to male and express her love. It doesn’t matter whether you have a lover or not. If you don’t have a lover, you can just give chocolate to close friend of yours to show how much you care about them. But when you are giving chocolate to your lover, there are few steps to follow.
ReplyDeleteTo begin with, you need to start with getting some chocolates. Every year when Valentines Day comes, shops are full of chocolates which are beautifully packed. You can just buy one of them and give it to your lover or friends. However, some people make their own chocolate to show their love. Handmade chocolates are not that tasty or good looking as chocolates that are sold but we can truly feel the love of the maker.
Once you have prepared beautifully packed chocolate, ask your lover on a date. It is better for you to search uncrowded place because if there are too much people, the noise will be disturbing when expressing your love. For instance, quiet Park will be nice place to give your chocolate and express love to your lover.
Finally, meet the person that you love. You need to be courageous and be ready to express your love. It will be hard to express your love but you need to do it before other people express their love to your lover. If your lover accepts your love, then start lovely days with your partner from Valentines Day onwards.
Expressing love to someone is not an easy thing. But with the help of Valentines Day, females get more courage and express their love. The true purpose of valentine day is to make relationship more intimate. You can start a relationship with someone or make your relationship with someone even closer. It doesn’t matter whether it is official national day or not. Valentine day is meaningful day for numerous people.