Thursday, March 21, 2013
Intermediate English Writing (1)
201103227 E. I. T
Jung Ji Soo
How wonderful it is to have special dates with your girl or boyfriend? In Korea, there are some special days for people, especially for couples such as valentine day, white day and there are a lot more. These days are considered as big festivals for couples. Celebrating and enjoying meaningful days with your partners would be really happy and it would be helpful to make your relationship stronger.
At first, at these kinds of days such, you can give your own emotion better than usual days with cards, messages or presents. Usually we don't give as many as expressions to our partners, so it would be great chance to show how you love her or him. Though you love each other, without any special days or expressions, it would be really dry relationship.
Also, you can remind it again that how important your partner is in your life. Usually, we forget the importance of our partners easily. However, with festivals, you can have special times with your partners reminding his/her existence again.
At last, these festivals are really enjoyable. Though you have same dates, it could be more meaningful for you, because of its specialty! Release your stress and enjoy your own times with your partners!
To conclude, these kinds of days are not really for couples but also all kinds of people. They can be your friends, teachers, parents and families and so on. Express them how special their existences in your life. Then you can feel really good and happy. Though these days could be seemed as really tiny or meaningless festivals for some people, it could be more meaningful than other holidays.
To Ji Soo JUNG From SaeWhan PARK/ Assignment 2
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that you started with a question which makes me want to answer it and read more.
2. Your main point seems to be the special amorous days for couples in Korea and a way to express love.
3. The phrase that struck me powerful was "how special their existences in your life." It made me think about myself. I never appreciated the existence of someone close to me and I took it for granted. While reading this phrase, It sort of gave me some time to think about my family and friends.
4. You said "you can give your own emotion better than usual days", but it wasn't quite clear to me.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is to put more ideas in your last body paragraph. You can talk about why it's really enjoyable or talk about some particular dates we can have during the festival.
To JiSoo Jung From MyongHwa Yang
ReplyDelete1. In this piece of writing, I like that you mentioned family and friends. On special days, people usually care about only their partners. It is good to point out the importance of family or friends.
2. Your main point seems to be that we can make much stronger relationship with a partner and other people through special days.
3. The sentence struck me as powerful is 'you can give your own emotion better than usual days with cards, messages or presents'.
Through these things, we can express how we feel more open-heartedly.
4. In the 4th paragraph, you said 'Release your stress and enjoy your own times..'. I think it will be better if you give some examples of way to spend time more enjoyably.
5. As I mentioned above, the 4th paragraph is not included specific things for having a good time with a partner. If you add some kinds of activities for special days, it will be much better.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
ReplyDeleteIntermediate Writing(1)
201103227 E. I. T
Jung Ji Soo
I add some sentences and change the sentence.
How wonderful it is to have special dates with your girl or boyfriend? In Korea, there are some special days for people, especially for couples such as valentine day, white day and a lot more. These days are considered as big festivals for couples. Celebrating and enjoying meaningful days with your partners would be really happy and it would be helpful to make your relationship stronger.
At first, at these kinds of days such, you can give your own emotion better than usual days with cards, messages or presents. Usually we don’t give as many as expressions to our partners, so it would be great chance to show how you love her or him. Though you love each other, without any special days or expressions, it would be really dry relationship.
Also, you can remind it again that how important your partner is in your life. Usually, we forget the importance of our partners easily. However, with festivals, you can have special times with your partners reminding his/her existence again. This will be really meaningful and important time that couples need to have.
At last, these festivals are really enjoyable. Though you have same dates, it could be more meaningful for you, because of its specialty! Release your stress and enjoy your own times with your partners! These would be really helpful to become more familiar with your partners and you can consider your girl or boy friend more specially.
To conclude, these kinds of days are not really for couples but also all kinds of people. They can be your friends, teachers, parents and families and so on. Express them how special their existences in your life. Then you can feel really good and happy. Though these days could be seemed as really tiny or meaningless festivals for some people, it could be more meaningful than other holidays.