TV: could you do without it?
I think I can live without TV. In fact, I think it is a little obsolete thing these days. To watch the programs via TV, we have to check the time table and follow it. It doesn't fit to our generation that uses time flexibly. To us, it is better to watch the programs through internet. If we visit the broadcasting website or YouTube, we can see those anytime convenient. Also, if we visit blogs that have many pictures and detailed description about the program, we can get the whole idea about it. For me, when I was in high school, I could take the story in short time and used to chat about it as if I watched the whole contents.
Also, for the TV, we have to see the broadcasting ad usually running over 20 minute. Especially for the inprogram advertising, it's irritating because it quits the flow at the gist point to makes us endure the whole advertising with curiosity. However with the internet I mentioned above, the maximum advertising time is just 15 sec.
As the two reasons, advertising and time constraint, watching TV isn't appealing to us anymore.
To Hae-bin Shim From Hayoung Kang
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that you suggested really intersting reasons why television is not necessary these days. Especially, "It doesn't fit to our generation that uses time flexibly." -this part is very impressive to me because you approach the reasons relating with today's smart tendency.
2. Your main point seems to be that we could do without TV for two reasons. Fistly, TV is not suitable for today's tendency. Secondly, TV is composed of unnecessary advertisements.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful: "I think it is a little obsolete thing these days."
I think this sentence powerfully argues your opinion directly.
4. Somethings aren't clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved:
1) "Also, if we visit blogs that have many pictures and detailed description about the program, we can get the whole idea about it."
- I think you had better explain more in detail. You suggest one example for flexibility of internet, so in this part, it is better to stress more on the flexibility of time management.
2) "As the two reasons, advertising and time constraint, watching TV isn't appealing to us anymore."
- I think it would be much better if you expand the conclusion more widely. You just summarized the main point of your writing. how about adding more about it like warning, advice?
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is to organize this writing more constructly and strengthen the introduction and conclusion part.
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1. What I like about this piece of writing is that you mentioned two big disadvantages of watching TVs that I’ve never though before; ads and inconvenience because of time table.
ReplyDelete2. Your main point seems to be that when we need to watch TV shows, we could simply use Internet instead of watching TVs
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful: “It doesn't fit to our generation.” As a young generation who seeks convenience, speed, efficiency and so on, I totally agree with this sentence.
4. Some things aren't clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved: I don’t know what the word ‘inprogram’ means in one of your sentences.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is that you may want to practice more with your using conjunctions and prepositions. I make a lot of mistakes too, but sometimes they make me distracted when they’re used wrong.