TV could have been necessary to people in the past, but for us, it's not anymore. The advanced technology and the desire to know more made TV needless.
The first reason why you can live without TV is that it offers nothing special. What does TV do for you? Well, you can do various kinds of things such as watching news, documentaries, movies, home shopping and listening to lectures. But you can also do these things without TV. You can watch all sorts of programs via Internet anytime you want. Also, you can shop or attend lectures online or offline, not using TV.
Another reason is because quitting TV makes you smarter. The way how we use TV is sitting down and just looking at it for hours. Eventually, you will end up as a passive viewer absorbing anything that the broadcasting station provides. That is why I stopped watching TV and I ended up reading more books, encyclopedias and newspapers. I had tried to find information by myself, so the knowledge truly became mine.
Some people worry that they cannot do without TV because it will isolate them from others. I haven't watched it since freshman, but I can still communicate and socialize with others by other ways.
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ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that your argument and all supporting reasons are very obvious and clear. You clearly deliver what you want to through a concrete structure and abundant contents.
2. Your main point seems to be that TV is needless because other things can do or do better what TV does and watching TV is bad as always.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
(1) a passive viewer : This is strong enough to break down the counter argument such as " TV is a brilliant source of information ". When we can get the same infromation being more active searcher, TV is certainly not the best choice.
(2) I haven't watched it since freshman, but I can still communicate and socialize with others by other ways. : Someone's own argument definitely gets stronger when it came from someone's own experience. And it gets even stronger, when there is a high chace the target readers share the same experience. I, also as a university student who lives in seoulr leaving my own home, live without TV and still do great when it comes to socializing with others. I deeply agree.
4. Somethings aren't clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved:
(1) the desire to know more : I think this part covers your second reason in the thesis sentence. I just wonder that this part is able to cover your second supporting reason sufficiently.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is to .. rethink about your second reason. The point of your argument is 'We do not need TV', and the second reason of it is 'Quitting TV makes you smarter'. I am not sure but the second reason sounds more like a reason for an argument such as "We should stop watching TV".
1. What I like about this piece of writing is that you used various examples to support your main idea.
ReplyDelete2. Your main point seems to be that you can live without TV because everything you do with TVs can be done without TVs actually.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful is “What does TV do for you?” It made me think deeply of the advantages and disadvantages of watching TVs.
4. Some things aren't clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved: ” since freshman”. How about “since I was a freshman” or “since the first year of my school life” or else?
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing: I think in essay and academic writing, sentences rarely start with conjunctions such as AND, BUT, OR. How about using “However’ instead of ‘But’ in the first place of your sentence?