TV: Could you do without TV?
I could absolutely do without TV. As a matter of fact, I've been living without TV for so long that I can't even recall the last
time I was sitting on the couch and actually looking into the box.
enjoy spending my free time with my close friends rather than watching TV alone. I personally believe human interactions with
my friends and family members are much more intriguing and entertaining. Moreover, I've been recently reading a few books that
attract me, so I don't have much time to spend on watching TV. Another reason that I don't need to watch TV is that I realized all
TV programs are, not seemingly, but virtually repetitive. I don't feel the need to watch TV not only because I find it time wasting
but also I know I have better activities to do.
oops I missed my name in the writing!
ReplyDelete200801262 EIT Seungmi Park
and sorry that my writing isn't perfectly indented... I believe my mac isn't compatible... :/
To Seungmi Park From Chae-min LIm(200902928)
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is : " I've been living without TV for so long that I can't even recall the last time I was sitting on the couch and actually looking into the box. "
I can't believe that you have not seen them for a long time. I think It is impossible to avoid TV in our lives^^;
2. Your main point seems to be that without TV, you could live by interacting with your close friends, reading books and doing other activities.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
(1) TV programs are, not seemingly, but virtually repetitive. : You mentioned clearly why you don't feel the need to watch TV.
4. Somethings aren't clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved:
(1) Moreover, I've been recently reading a few books that attract me, so I don't have much time to spend on watching TV.
This part is, I think, too personal as a supporting sentence. I think that it would be better to put more general ideas about your thesis.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is
- This is not a five-paragraph essay assignment but regardless of how many paragraphs you need, I think, it would be better for you to make your writing more organized form.
To Seungmi Park From Bosung Kim
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is you supported your main point by using your own experience. That makes me easier to understand your opinion.
2. Your main point seems to be you could do without TV because there are more important and interesting things.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful
Words or lines:
I've been living without TV for so long that I can't even recall the last time I was sitting on the couch and actually looking into the box.
I like them because you described the image watching TV so it makes your writing vivid. used box instead of TV to avoid word repitition.
4. Some things aren't clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seens mixed up, writing not lively)
Lines or parts:
Another reason that I don't need to watch TV is that I realized all TV programs are, not seemingly, but virtually repetitive. I don't feel the need to watch TV not only because I find it time wasting but also I know I have better activities to do.
Need improving because you wrote that all TV programs are actually repititive but I couldn't agree with it easily. If you had given some examples or explained it in detail, I would have understood it.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is to mention other roles TV plays. You described TV as only making people interested. But there are more parts it allots in human life.