From birth till death, we're supposed to pursue happiness. We can't deny the fact that the more money we have, the more happy we are. But, money itself can't be a necessary and sufficient requirement for happiness. A true happiness must entail something else, including money. Psychological causes. Those three causes are as follows; Not to be greedy. Not to make a grandiose planning. The attitude to look down, not to look up.
First, we must not to be greedy. Since they are selfish creatures, human beings try to accept everything to their advantage. Even though this nature can't be denied, we must be satisfied up to a point. For example, suppose you have many sumptuous foods on the table. You can't eat up all there. If you try to devour all of them, then you'll have an upset stomach. This logic could be applied to everything. Once you go beyond the limit, it brings about a contrary effect.
Second, Don't try to make a grandiose planning. Anyone can make big plans, but it's so difficult to fulfill all of them. If a plan could be accomplished easily, we can't even call it a plan. When you make a plan, be reasonable. That is to say, take your ability and conditions into consideration. The bigger plan you make, the more you might be frustrated when you fail to fulfill the plan.
Finally, stand on where you are, and look down. When you're mad at yourself, consider people who are beneath you. Unless a mountain shape like an inverted triangle, many people can't step on the top of a mountain. In contrast, most people are on the bottom who are trying to climb to the top. Almost people struggle for the top, but we all can't be on the top. Even if we can, what goes up must come down someday. No matter how difficult situation you're faced, you have to notice that there are so many people who have been living under the worse condition. So, try to face up to the reality and be grateful for what you got.
Bangladesh, allowing for the statistical figures such as GDP, is an impoverished Southern Asian country. But, their happiness index boasts a world-class level. Some says it's an inconsistency. Is it a paradox for sure? No. It could be a quite natural reason depending on which standard you establish. If you judge happiness by your own mind not by money, then we all could be happy. Find happiness in your mind.
1. I really liked the way you used metaphors such as eating food and climbing the mountain in your body paragraphs. It made your points very clear and easy to understand
ReplyDeleteI also like that you used the case of Bangladesh as an example to justify your points in your conclusion paragraph. I think it really gives credit to your points.
2. Your main point seems to be: Not being greedy, Not making a grandiose planning, and having the attitude to look down, not to look up are the keys of happiness
3. 'grandiose'
I think this is a nice vocabulary that expresses your idea clearly and strongly
4."Since they are selfish creatures, human beings try to accept everything to their advantage."
I would change it to "since human beings are selfish creature, they try to accept everything..."
This is really minor difference, but I think it sounds more natural this way.
5. I think your essay is an instruction essay rather than cause and effect essay. Therefore you should change a lot of expressions you used in a way to show the cause and effect, rather than talking about what to do.
Second draft of the writing.
ReplyDeleteFrom birth till death, we pursue happiness. We can't deny the fact that the more money we have, the more happy we are. But, money itself can't be a necessary and sufficient requirement for happiness. A true happiness must entail something else, including money. Psychological causes. Those three causes are as follows; Not to be greedy. Not to make a grandiose planning. The attitude to look down, not to look up.
First, we must not to be greedy. Since they are selfish creatures, human beings try to accept everything to their advantage. Even though this nature can't be denied, we must be satisfied up to a point. For example, suppose you have many sumptuous foods on the table. You can't eat up all there. Once you go beyond the limit, it brings about a contrary effect.
Second, Don't try to make a grandiose planning. Anyone can make big plans, but it's so difficult to fulfill all of them. That is to say, take your ability and conditions into consideration. The bigger plan you make, the more you might be frustrated when you fail to fulfill the plan.
Finally, stand on where you are, and look down. Unless a mountain shape like an inverted triangle, many people can't step on the top of a mountain. Even if we can, what goes up must come down someday. No matter how difficult situation you're faced, you have to notice that there are so many people who have been living under the worse condition. So, try to face up to the reality and be grateful for what you got.
Bangladesh, allowing for the statistical figures such as GDP, is an impoverished Southern Asian country. But, their happiness index boasts a world-class level. Some says it's an inconsistency. Is it a paradox for sure? No. It could be a quite natural reason depending on which standard you establish. If you judge happiness by your own mind not by money, then we all could be happy.