There have been numerous debates on what is cause of happiness but the answer may differ from one another. One of the possible answers might be feeling gratitude about lives. It helps people to have a positive mind, to recognize beauty in their lives and keep away from being mad.
Feeling gratitude about lives helps people to have a positive mind. People get stressed, depressed because they keep annoy themselves with negative thoughts. For example, they might get great pressure from the workload from their company. The reason why they get stressed is not the workload itself but the negative thoughts like 'I don't want to do it' or 'There is no worth doing this useless reports' that they produce. However, if people try to feel gratitude about the workload, like thinking that they can work but others cannot, may help them to think positively about the work.
Feeling gratitude also helps people to recognize beauty in their lives. Appreciate that we can wake up in the morning breathing fresh air with bright sunlight. Or thank for that we can eat our supper with family altogether around the table. These things might be nothing and usual to most of us, but it might not in one day. Some might get blinded or loss their family on one day. So, feeling gratitude for everything about lives helps people to recognize beauty; the beauty that they are enjoying in daily lives.
Feeling gratitude helps people to keep away from being mad. Sometime people get so mad that even they cannot control themselves. Madness brings negative effects like ruining relationship with others or bring health problem. What they should do is to take a deep breath and try to appreciate what they have got. Giving a second chance to think relives anger and gives people some space to find inner peace.
As a conclusion, feeling gratitude changes people to think positively, recognize beauty and even let them to relive anger. These effects that gratitude brings little more leads people to be happy.
To: Hyejeong Yu From: Chaemin Lim
ReplyDelete1. what I like about this piece of writing is that it is well followed five-paragraph essay writing and each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
2. Your main point seems to be that to be happy, people need to feel gratitude about their lives and it can make them happy.
3. Thes particular words or lines struck me as powerful :
Third paragraph, you used the word " supper"
I think that it is a quite interesting word. Frankly, I don't usually use it when I write something but by using it, it seems to convey a specific meaning of what you intended.
4. Some things are't clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved :
In paragraph 3,
"These things might be nothing and usual to most of us, but it might not in one day."
Actually, I don't quite understand the last sentence above.
I can guess the meaning of it, but it would be better for you to write it in a specific way.
5. The one change you could make that you might need more powerful hook than the previous one. I think that yours looks too general. I recommend that you need to put more attractive hook and background sentence.
Thank you.
To Hyejeong Yu. From Jisu Song 201001709 Assignment 4
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that you talked about only 1 reason: gratitude. I tried to come up with 3 reasons, but you picked 1 and wrote very specifically about it. I think that was unique.
2. Your main point seems to be feeling gratitude makes people happy.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful: The sentence in your second body paragraph, ‘Some might get blinded or loss their family on one day.’ Was powerful to me. I think it clearly shows that people cannot anticipate what is going to happen in the future and that we have to appreciate each day.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively): In your third body paragraph, you used the word ‘mad’ many times. But for me, ‘mad’ means more like ‘crazy’. Maybe ‘unhappy’ or ‘angry’ can be more appropriate words.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is that you kept repeating same words in your topic sentences in the body paragraphs. As far as I know, it’s better to avoid using same words again and again in the English language. So I would suggest you to start your topic sentenced by using various words for ‘feeling gratitude’. You could use ‘thankful’, ‘appreciate’, ‘do not take it for granted’, something like those.
People long for happiness. Then what is the cause of happiness? No one can give a straight answer as the answers differ from one another. Some people might put wealth as first priority for the cause of happiness, while others can put something else such as friends or family. One of the possible answers might be the following three; Thinking in positive way, doing what one wants to do, controlling one’s emotion.
ReplyDeleteThinking in positive way causes happiness because it relieves stress. People get stressed, depressed because they keep annoy themselves with negative thoughts. For example, they might get great pressure from the workload from their company. The reason why they get stressed is not the workload itself but the negative thoughts like ‘I don’t want to do it’ or ‘There is no worth doing this useless reports’ that they produce. However, if people try think positively about the workload, like realizing that they can work but others cannot, may help them relieve stress, therefore getting closer to happiness.
Also doing what one wants to do leads to happiness as it gives him satisfaction. We human have desires that have to be met. When these desires are met, people get satisfied about the fact that they achieved what they wanted. This satisfaction from achievement is a key factor to happiness because if desires were not met, people might be irritated and dissatisfied, leaving them unhappy.
Finally, controlling one’s emotion is a one way makes you happy. It is inevitable for everybody to run into a situation causing negative emotions such as madness or anger. These feelings counteract to happiness since they ruin relationship with others and even bring health problems. What they should do is to take a deep breath and try to give them a moment to think. Controlling emotions through a second chance of thinking relives anger and gives people some space to find inner peace.
As conclusion, positive mind, meeting desires and controlling emotions helps people to be happy. There are bunch of other reasons causing happiness other than these. Also these are just some of the suggested causes, so people should try to find the causes for their own happiness and be happy.