Cause of Happiness
200902928
Chaemin Lim
Everyone pursues his or her happiness in life and it is often considered as the meaning and the purpose of the life. However, it may not be such a meaningful thing. It may be just a part of life and lies in people's daily life. Therefore, Happiness depends on the way people think of their life. To love as possible, live with passion and enjoy the present moment will lead people to the happiness.
If people give more love to themselves, happiness will come easily into their life. People who don't love themselves have no self-confidence and usually don't know how to love and what is being loved. In addition, they often have a negative view of the world. However, when they start to love themselves, they can have confidence in life and have hope for the future. Happiness always starts with self-love.
The more passionate people are, the earlier happiness comes. When people do their work with passion, the difference in results is greater than what those who don't have passion make. It means that the passionate people have a potential to succeed in their fields. Even though success is not directly related to happiness, the thing is that people need to live with passion everyday. By doing so, they can get closer to happiness.
It is the most important thing for people who want to be happy to enjoy the present moment. If people are always dreaming of better life in the future, they couldn't live a faithful life in the present moment. Without realizing the importance of values the present gives to them, they are likely to live with just having hope for the future. However, the problems we have to deal with are always in the present and the future is not predictable accurately. Therefore, living the present life faithfully will be the beginning of happiness.
Happiness comes when people love themselves, live passionately and enjoy the present life. It is not far away from now and always connected to every day life. Consequently if there are people who want to lead a happy life, they must be faithful to their own life. It will bring happiness.
Peer Feedback Sheet
ReplyDeleteTo: Lim Chae Min Lim From: Jung Ji Soo Assignment 4
1. What I like about this piece of writing is the content. While I read this, it gave me meaningful thoughts about happiness and I could think what happiness is again and again.
2. Your main point seems to be that there are lots of factors to be happy, but in this writing she chose three main factors for happiness: self-love, passion and focus on the present.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
1) Pursue : by using this word, the writing seems much better.
2) The more passionate people are, the earlier happiness comes : It gave me a lesson effectively, and I learned something new.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
1) how to love and what is being loved : I thought that it was little bit unnatural. And in fact, I couldn’t get the meaning at first though I understood it right after.
2) what those who don't have passion make : I think that there is a grammatical error in this expression. I suggest removing ‘make’ in this.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is
: I don’t have things that I want to put or remove, because this writing is already well organized and also I understood it easily without having difficulty. However, as I answered in number four, I think it would be much better writing, if you edit some expression.
1. What I like about this piece of writing is intruduction.
ReplyDeleteI thouht that happiness was a really big thing. However you changed my mind. After reading your writing I come to think that happiness is always around me not is achieved.
2.Your main point seems to be that happiness can be found as long as we try to find.
3. These particular words or lines sturck me as powerful.
they must be faithful to their own lives- I have never thought about this kind of sentence in terms of word choice, 'faithful'.
At best I came up with a word like living fully. It has a strong impcat on me.
4,5 Some things are't clear to me and there can be room for improvement
What is being loved- I couldn't understatnd what you meant.
Maybe you tried to write this sentence like this:what it would be like to be loved.
to love as possible in the introduction - you missed an object. considering the first body paragraph, you need the object,like themselves.
To Lim Chaemin From Park, Shin Young Assignment 4
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is there's no ambiguous words or phrases.
2. Your main point seems to be happiness depends on the way people think of their life.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
Words or lines
1st paragraph
I like them because
Your thought of happiness looks different comparing to other classmates.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
In your writing, I can't find more three causes of happiness. So, it looks kind of unclear.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is it could be more better writing if you wrote the essay by using sequence connectors(first, second, etc.)
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ReplyDeleteEveryone pursues his or her happiness in life and it is often considered as the meaning and the purpose of the life. However, it may not be such a meaningful thing. It may be just a part of life and lies in people's daily life. Therefore, Happiness depends on the way people think of their life. To love themselves as possible, live with passion and enjoy the present moment will lead people to the happiness.
Firstly, If people give more love to themselves, happiness will come easily into their life. People who don't love themselves have no self-confidence and usually don't know loving and being loved. In addition, they often have a negative view of the world. However, when they start to love themselves, they can have confidence in life and have hope for the future. Happiness always starts with self-love.
Secondly, The more passionate people are, the earlier happiness comes. When people do their work with passion, the difference in results is greater than the case without passion. It means that the passionate people have a potential to succeed in their fields. Even though success is not directly related to happiness, the thing is that people need to live with passion everyday. By doing so, they can get closer to happiness.
Thirdly, It is the most important thing for people who want to be happy to enjoy the present moment. If people are always dreaming of better life in the future, they couldn't live a faithful life in the present moment. Without realizing the importance of values the present gives to them, they are likely to live with just having hope for the future. However, the problems we have to deal with are always in the present and the future is not predictable accurately. Therefore, living the present life faithfully will be the beginning of happiness.
Happiness comes when people love themselves, live passionately and enjoy the present life. It is not far away from now and always connected to every day life. Consequently if there are people who want to lead a happy life, they must be faithful to their own life. It will bring happiness.