Life Formula : set a goal and take action
People pay attention to someone's success story. They want to know how someone achieves a goal and what process someone has gone through while seeking his or her dream. Each of people has eventual goal and in the process of seeking that goal, they set many small goals in their life. Setting a goal and running toward that goal is process of life. That is essential process to be happy. And that links to happiness.
Setting goals make person have motivation to live life to the full. A boat without purpose doesn't sail but drift on the sea. Likewise, if person do not set a goal, his life would be full of futility. Mostly people set positive goals. To fulfill them, people try hard and in the process of achieving them, they make effort to overcome many obstacles. Finally they solve many problems. Making efforts is always accompanied with achieving goals. Therefore, without any efforts, one can't fulfill the purpose. The more obvious one's goal is, the more likely he is to take action for it. Taking action for fulfilling it makes one's life rich. Clearly people with goals and not live different life.
There is a saying that hardship makes person stronger. People would have many difficulties in achieving their dreams. That is a basic rule of our lives. It is not easy to solve many problems which people would confront while seeking their goals. To overcome them, people think deeply about the difficulties and find problems in and outside them. They try hard to improve themselves and outside environment. In this process, people grow to be higher state. People would be satisfied with them and feel accomplishment. In addition to this, they have more clear objections. If they set weak goals and they are not confident about fulfilling them, they fall down going through the hardships. The hardship functions as filtering gadget which filters out weak willingness.
One's achieving story affects others in the positive ways. As mentioned in introduction, people are interested in someone's success story. They want to get lessons from him or her who makes it.
Although some people want to give up what they decide to fulfill, they are encouraged by someone's success story and again start to challenge it. In fact, people share their life history which they have experienced in seeking their goals. Of course, happiness becomes double if someone who lost direction is encouraged by 'my story'. People would be happy to influence others in the positive ways.
Happiness is not a great thing. Whoever has clear goals and purposes can dream it. To realize the dreams, efforts should be accompanied. Sometimes people have troubles in seeking them, but those things make them strong and solid. Finally people make it and enjoy happiness, expanding happiness by sharing it with other dreamers.
I am sorry to seperate one paragraph into two. The third body paragraph is linked to fourth.
ReplyDeleteTo Hayoung Kang From Youmi An
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that your writing is you repeat key words and key idea continuously, so that you have very one concentrated topic.
2. Your main point seems to be that trying to fulfill your goal is the key factor of happiness.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
1 The more obvious one's goal is, the more likely he is to take action for it. : I like this particular form of sentence. you make a great use of this form, i think.
4. Somethings aren't clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved:
Clearly people with goals and not live different life. : I cannot understand what this sentence means.
and also your third paragraph. I wonder if I get you intention correctly. Did you want to say that trying to be success and fulfilling it even can make others happy by teaching them? It would be better if you make sure that why the third paragraph is in your writing.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is to avoid slight grammar errors. My writing is also full of grammatical errors. I think both of us should work more on it by reviewing the writing more times than we do now. Your massage will convey better if you decrease the number of errors in your writing. and me too...
To Hayoung Kang From Youngjun Yoo
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that the introduction is simple and easy to understand, and also the importance of setting a goal is repeated many times so that readers focus on it.
2. Your main point seems to be that setting a goal and trying to achieve it is very important process for people to be happy.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
(1) “A boat without purpose doesn’t sail but drift on the sea.” : I think this sentence is a good expression to make a point to the readers.
(2) “The hardship functions as filtering gadget which filters out weak willingness.” : I think this is a convincing sentence that hardship is meaningful and necessary in life.
4. Some things aren't clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved:
(1) Clearly people with goals and not live different life.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is that if you supported your point with some of your own experiences it would be more convincing. And, there are some grammatical errors. Also, I feel like the three body paragraphs are not relating to each other. I think if there were some connecting words or sentences between them, it would be a better essay.
Life Formula : set a goal and take action
ReplyDeletePeople pay attention to someone’s success story. They want to know how someone achieves a goal and what process someone has gone through while seeking his or her dream. Each of people has eventual goal and in the process of seeking that goal, they set many small goals in their life. Setting a goal and running toward that goal is process of life. That is essential process to be happy. And that links to the happiness.
Setting goals make person has motivation to live life to the full. A boat without purpose doesn’t sail but drift on the sea. Likewise, if person does not set a goal, his life would be full of futility. Mostly people set positive goals. To fulfill them, people try hard and in the process of achieving them, they make effort to overcome many obstacles. Finally they solve many problems. Making efforts is always accompanied with achieving goals. Therefore, without any efforts, one can’t fulfill the purpose. The more obvious one’s goal is, the more likely he is to take action for it. Taking action for fulfilling it makes one’s life rich. Clearly, people who have goals and people who don’t will live different lives.
There is a saying that hardship makes person stronger. People would have many difficulties in achieving their dreams. That is a basic rule of our lives. It is not easy to solve many problems which people would confront while seeking their goals. To overcome them, people think deeply about the difficulties and find problems in and outside them. They try hard to improve themselves and outside environment. In this process, people grow to be higher state. People would be satisfied with them and feel accomplishment. In addition to this, they have more clear objections. If they set weak goals and they are not confident about fulfilling purposes, they fall down, going through the hardships. The hardship functions as filtering gadget which filters out weak willingness.
In the course of setting many goals, people have chances to think deeply about what their ultimate goals are. There are many people who are just living their lives without any deep considerations. However, people need to contemplate about their lives and what their ultimate goals are at least one time. If they do not do in-depth consideration of life, they have more possibility to live superficial lives such as seeking only wealth and prestige. To live meaningful lives, people have to find the eventual purpose of life. Repeating the cycle of setting goals and achieving them, people would be able to differentiate valuable goals which really have good impacts on their lives. Deep consideration about life gives a roadmap to person who wants to walk in the right direction. That direction would lead the person into true happiness.
Happiness is not a great thing. Whoever has clear goals and purposes can dream it. To realize the dreams, efforts should be accompanied. Sometimes people have troubles in seeking them, but those things make them strong and solid. Moreover, they will consider deeply about their lives and notice what ultimate goal is, going through many trials and errors. People will come closer to true happiness in this process.